A tale of a Taiwanese island pup

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Orchid Island, Taiwan. July 12, 2020.

Somewhere out there, on the Pacific-bound Orchid Island (蘭嶼) in Taiwan, there is a time-honoured, traditio obscura for fresh arrivals to circumvent the entirety of the island - within the first day. Being excitable and foolhardy backpackers, Alssa and I also wanted to carry this torch. When we disembarked from our ferry and immediately began asking around the locals for advice on this “tradition”, they looked at us like raving lunatics — that is, there ain’t nunnadat shit ‘round here. Traditio obscurum indeed. We weren’t discouraged, and persisted anyway. Unlocking this achievement was seductive. It probably made for a good IG post.

[Narrator: 4000+ words later, evidently not.]

The round island trip is a 34-km marathon on one of two official roads on the island, and under normal, conservative circumstances, would take about 9–10 hours to hike. Some of the Tao (達悟, pronounced Da-wu) aborigine we talked to suggested it should take max 7–8 hours. Unfortunately, we were not blessed with their signature islander enthusiasm, much less their native constitution. After all, we were running on a total of 6 hours of sleep — over 2 nights. We settled for a “leisurely” 12-hour stroll instead. It was a mark that would ensure we “enjoyed” the walk, but not put ourselves through hell just for the sake of achievement. Fuck IG.

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A map of Orchid Island, showcasing one of two official roads. One encircles the island, and the other cuts through the middle over a mountain.

During the days, Orchid Island becomes a sweltering oven. The Pacific sun, laser beaming down in gobs, radiates off the asphalt and blankets all those foolish enough to be exposed in an unnerving heat. So we opted for a 9 pm start, with a target finish time of 9 am — just before the cusp when hellfire begins raining down. I hesitate to tell you that we seriously contemplated giving up because we were just too exhausted. Alas, we thought better of it. “We had made our beds, and we were going to sleep in it” — but there were no beds involved, and sleep was still much further away — approximately 34 km’s away.

The best thing was, Alssa was the one pushing for it. When your S.O. is the one toughing it out, you have no choice but to man the fuck up. So I suppressed the urge for sleep, and reminded myself that this was going to be an experience, irrespective of the good or bad.

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Alssa, leading the charge in the dark.

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